This site is an archive of previous lists.

Meetings:

First Thursday each month
18:30 - Brunswick Town Hall
(upstairs)

Things Men Can Do

To Promote Gender Equality

const items = [ "Cultivate humility and gratitude.", "Understand how being a man has made things easier.", "Share insights about male privilege with the people in your life and ask women how their experiences differ from yours.", "Identify your emotions and needs, and communicate them constructively.", "Learn how to receive criticism and rejection.", "Acknowledge and apologise when you realise that you have ‘stuffed up’.", "Work to expand your capacity for empathy.", "Engage with media made by women.", "Seek feminist mentorship.", "Notice how your attitudes and use of language might contribute to gendered power imbalances.", "Notice when women are interrupted while speaking.", "Negotiate the division of labour with your partner.", "Encourage women’s leadership in your workplace and community.", "Support women when they disclose an experience of gender-based harm or abuse.", "Speak up if a friend is acting disrespectfully toward a woman, and check on her to find out what she needs.", "Challenge other men when they make sexist comments or jokes, whether socially, at work or online.", "Understand and challenge rape-culture.", "Practice affirmative consent.", "Learn how to properly ask a woman out.", "Critically analyse your porn consumption.", "Be a role-model for defying gendered expectations.", "Develop safe spaces for vulnerability with other men.", "Commit to continuous learning and growth in promoting gender equality.", "Invite other men to join you in this work.", "Constructively overcome the challenges of being a man." ]; const resources = [ "These help shift one’s mindset from zero-sum competition to collaboration and soften the ego and its need to dominate or always be right.\n*examples/resources required*", "For example: Men face less risk of sexual harassment and have more freedom in public spaces. They are often assumed to be competent and are less judged for their appearance or career focus. Men are not expected to balance family and work as heavily. Media representation and acceptance of assertiveness further contribute to the ease with which men navigate social, professional, and personal spaces.", "Create a comfortable space for open dialogue: frame your thoughts humbly and ask open-ended questions. Listen actively—avoid interrupting and acknowledge their feelings. Be prepared for discomfort, recognise the emotional labor involved, and express gratitude for the conversation. Remain open to feedback for ongoing growth and take action based on what you learn.", "Use 'I' statements like 'I feel [emotion] when [situation] because I need [need].'\n*Why and How?*", "Express gratitude toward the person for voicing their perspective/preference. It takes courage to express something that others might not want to hear! \nAsk for clarification where needed, but ensure you don’t make the person feel obliged to justify themselves. \nReflect on how you can move forward constructively. \nFinally, thank them again. In an age when it’s so easy to just ignore/ghost, their good-faith communication is an expression of authenticity and respect.", "Take responsibility for your actions without defensiveness or excuses.\nBe specific about what you did and why it was wrong, showing that you understand the impact. For example, say, 'I realise I interrupted you earlier, and that was disrespectful. I’m sorry.'\nAvoid minimising the issue or shifting blame. Commit to learning from the mistake and making changes to avoid repeating it.\nA sincere apology not only repairs trust but also demonstrates accountability and a willingness to grow.", "Practice being fully present in conversations: focus on understanding their emotions, perspectives, and needs without judgment. Seek out diverse stories through books, podcasts, or conversations that challenge your viewpoints and broaden your understanding of different lived experiences.", "Books, podcasts, films, blogs etc. \nAlso recognise how algorithmic biases affect your feeds, and proactively seek influences who positively challenge your perception and understanding.\nFor suggestions, see the resource page.", "Find women who are willing to regularly engage in constructive conversations and offer their perspectives on navigating gendered issues. \nInvite them to challenge you. \nCompensate them generously.", "Seek feedback from trusted peers who can provide insight into how your communication is perceived.\nCommit to continuous self-awareness and adjustment to foster equality in your interactions.", "Observe patterns of interruption, particularly when women are speaking, and reflect on whether these moments stem from unconscious biases.\nIf you catch yourself interrupting, apologise and allow the woman to continue.\nIn group settings, advocate by redirecting focus back to the interrupted speaker with statements like, 'I think [name] was making an important point.'", "Share your perspectives on workload and how it aligns with each other’s capacities, preferences, and schedules. Acknowledge any imbalances and express a willingness to adjust for fairness.\nBe specific about tasks and set clear expectations, ensuring the agreement feels equitable to both parties.\nRevisit the arrangement periodically to address changes in circumstances or feelings.\nApproach the conversation as a team effort, prioritising mutual respect and understanding to create a partnership that values both contributions equally. Commit to something equitable and role model fairness for your children and peers.", "Offer mentorship, challenge biases, and attend women-led initiatives. Encourage an inclusive environment and address barriers to ensure equal opportunities for women to lead.", "Support them emotionally. \nBe mindful of your own emotional reactions, ensuring your support remains centred on their needs rather than your discomfort. It can be confronting to hear a heavy story. So there may be a tendency to avoid the emotional discomfort and pivot to investigation or action. Resist those urges and just hold space for them to share. \nAvoid questioning their account or offering unsolicited advice—focus on validating their feelings and experiences. \nAllow them to lead regarding what they disclose and what they wish to do. \nFamiliarise yourself with resources, such as counselling services or helplines, so you can provide practical assistance if needed.", "*How?*", "Approach the situation with respect, aiming to educate rather than shame. For example, you might begin curiously with ‘What do you mean by that?’, then 'That kind of joke perpetuates stereotypes and is harmful.' Encourage open dialogue by inviting them to consider the broader implications of their words. Set clear boundaries, showing that sexist behaviour isn’t acceptable in your presence.\nBy speaking up and fostering a more respectful environment, you contribute to changing the culture around gender-based humour and attitudes. You also relieve women from the burden of defending themselves.", "*Why and How?*", "*When and How?*", "Your intention should be clear and she should feel safe to answer freely. If rejected, thank her for taking care of herself and respect her boundaries.", "Consider how the porn you watch portrays women, and reflect on whether it aligns with your values.", "Demonstrate that strength isn't defined by conformity, but by authenticity.\n*also Why and how*", "Set the tone with openness and authenticity.\nShare your own experiences, struggles, and emotions; demonstrate that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Encourage others to do the same by creating a non-judgmental, supportive environment. \nFoster trust by listening actively and offering empathy, not solutions unless asked. Respect each other’s boundaries and create a space where men can talk about mental health, relationships, fears, and aspirations. \nYou might consider doing this deliberately and plan regular time with friends where you intentionally focus on this activity.", "Stay open to learning, whether through reading, listening to diverse perspectives, or reflecting on your own experiences.\nMistakes will happen. Each one is an opportunity for growth. By remaining humble and dedicated to continuous improvement, you help create a more inclusive and equitable environment for everyone.", "Resources pending.", "This item could contain/consume:\n1) Cultivate humility and gratitude\n5) Learn how to receive criticism and rejection.\n7) Work to expand your capacity for empathy.\n17) Understand and challenge rape-culture. \n18) Practice affirmative consent.\n19) Learn how to properly ask a woman out.\n21) Be a role-model for defying gendered expectations.\n22) Develop safe spaces for vulnerability with other men.\n24) Invite other men to join you in this work.\n\nOne source of resistance will be from men who defensively argue ''Men have it hard too. Being a man is not purely privilege!''\nAcknowledging men’s unique challenges in a constructive way validates their concerns and enables us to redirect that attention away from men’s rights personalities who propose a zero-sum approach whereby men’s self-interest requires they resist feminism and maintain dominance." ]; function createAccordion(containerId, items, resources) { const container = document.getElementById(containerId); if (!container) { console.error(`Container with ID "${containerId}" not found.`); return; } items.forEach((item, index) => { const accordionItem = document.createElement('div'); accordionItem.className = 'accordion-item'; const headerButton = document.createElement('button'); headerButton.className = 'accordion-header'; const bodyId = `accordion-body-${containerId}-${index}`; const headerId = `accordion-header-${containerId}-${index}`; headerButton.setAttribute('aria-expanded', 'false'); headerButton.setAttribute('aria-controls', bodyId); headerButton.id = headerId; headerButton.innerHTML = ` ${index + 1}.${item} `; const bodyDiv = document.createElement('div'); bodyDiv.className = 'accordion-body'; bodyDiv.id = bodyId; bodyDiv.setAttribute('role', 'region'); bodyDiv.setAttribute('aria-labelledby', headerId); const resourceText = resources[index] || "Resources pending."; const formattedResource = resourceText.replace(/\n/g, '
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Bob Pease's Lists

December 2024.

Preamble

We live in a time of escalating violence by men against women, other men, and non-binary people, manifesting in domestic violence, street harassment, online misogyny, and sexual objectification in various spaces. Acknowledging this reality is essential.
While not all men are perpetrators, patriarchal systems of male domination and privilege that underpin this violence advantage all men in some way. This list of things men can do is a response for requests for men to ‘Step Up’ and speak out against this violence. It is crucial to understand how denying the relationship between male privilege and violence is part of a broader culture that condones and perpetuates this violence.This list, refined through public forums, group discussions and comments from representatives of violence prevention organisations, aims to inspire men to educate themselves and other men. We invite men to join this conversation, understand the issues, and take proactive steps towards a socially just, caring, and violence-free world by challenging patriarchal attitudes and practices.

20 Things Men Can Do To Challenge Patriarchy

1. Educate yourself about how male privilege shows up in the lives of men and reflect on how this has happened in your own life.2. Educate yourself about women’s lives by reading, watching, or listening to art, research and analysis made by women.3. Be aware of how men’s privilege intersects with other factors such as class, race, (dis)ability, sexual and gender identity and how these influence the power you have.4. Be mindful of how your own attitudes and use of language might contribute to gendered power imbalances.5. Share your insights about male privilege with the women in your life and listen to their perspectives on these issues if they feel safe to share them.6. Believe women and gender diverse people if they disclose an experience of gender-based harm or abuse.7. Don’t interrupt women while they are speaking.8. Support and encourage women’s leadership in your workplace and community.9. Acknowledge and apologise when you realise that you have ‘stuffed up’.10. Do your fair share of child care and housework.11. Understand the prevalence of sexism in the pornography industry and consider ethical options if you choose to consume pornography.12. Learn about affirmative consent and how you can practice it in your intimate relationships to ensure mutual respect and pleasure.13. Talk to boys and young men about the importance of respecting girls and women.14. Challenge other men when they make sexist comments or jokes, whether socially, at work or online.15. Speak up if you discover that a male friend is disrespecting or abusing a woman and check on her to find out what she needs.16. Learn about the ways in which ‘boys’ clubs’ perpetutate discrimination against
women and explore strategies for opting out of them.17. Boycott and challenge corporations that use sexist and objectifying images of women.18. Write letters to the editor and opinion articles for local newspapers and other media outlets, including social media, to express support for gender equality and opposition to men’s violence.19. Join or start a group of men who are challenging sexism and patriarchy.20. Become a resource person who can speak out on men’s responsibility for challenging sexism and patriarchy.

Postamble

Many men are already doing these things. But stepping up is a lifelong learning journey to practicing allyship. We are not suggesting that these twenty things men can do are exhaustive and we encourage others to add to the list or develop a list of their own. We are asking men to commit, reflect, learn and do the best they can. These suggestions represent one small step to address the culture that allows men’s violence against women to continue.

An earlier version of Bob's list

AI List

Submitted with funding application (June 2024)

1. Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn about sexism, its manifestations, and its impact on society.
2. Listen and Amplify: Listen to the experiences of women and non-binary individuals, and amplify their voices in spaces where they may be marginalized.
3. Challenge Sexist Jokes and Comments: Speak up against sexist jokes and comments, whether in casual conversations or in professional settings.
4. Be Mindful of Language: Avoid using language that reinforces stereotypes or diminishes the contributions of women.
5. Promote Gender Equality at Work: Advocate for policies and practices that promote gender equality in the workplace, such as equal pay and opportunities for advancement.
6. Support Women's Leadership: Support and encourage women's leadership in all areas of society, including politics, business, and academia.
7. Interrupt Mansplaining and Manterrupting: Call out instances of mansplaining (when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing manner) and manterrupting (when a man interrupts a woman or takes credit for her ideas).
8. Challenge Gender Stereotypes: Challenge traditional gender roles and stereotypes by modelling behaviours that break free from them.
9. Be an Active Bystander: Intervene when you witness harassment or discrimination against women or non-binary individuals.
10. Support Feminist Movements: Support feminist organizations and movements working towards gender equality and women's rights.
11. Reflect on Privilege: Reflect on your own privilege as a man and how it may influence your perspectives and interactions with others.
12. Share Household Responsibilities: Share household chores and caregiving responsibilities equally with partners and family members.
13. Be an Ally: Actively support women and non-binary individuals in their personal and professional pursuits.
14. Challenge Sexist Media Representation: Speak out against media representations that perpetuate harmful stereotypes and objectify women.
15. Educate Others: Engage in conversations with other men about sexism and its effects, and encourage them to take action.
16. Support Gender-Inclusive Policies: Advocate for policies that support gender inclusivity and diversity in all aspects of society.
17. Support Reproductive Rights: Support women's reproductive rights and access to healthcare, including contraception and abortion.
18. Reflect on Masculinity: Reflect on traditional notions of masculinity and how they may contribute to sexism and gender inequality.
19. Take Responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and behaviours, and strive to be a positive role model for others.
20. Continue Learning and Growing: Recognize that challenging sexism is an ongoing process, and commit to continuous learning and growth in this area.

Alexandria’s List

(June 2024)

Twenty things to consider in developing and maintaining healthy human relationships1. To consider supporting authors and filmmakers of other genders (female, non-binary and gender diverse)
2. To reflect on your own social location within today's society, including, your gender, class, race, physical ability and how that influences the power you have.
3. To explore how power and privilege intersects with systems and structures.
4. To reflect on your own attitudes and usage of language can contribute to power imbalances, including gender inequality, classism, ableism, racism etc.
5. To not only challenge any abusive and controlling behaviour you might have, but to also challenge those behaviours of settings that you interact with, including, workplaces, recreation places, etc.
6. To develop curiosity of other people's lives, including women, non-binary and gender diverse people.
7. To deeply listen and actively reflect on what your speaking partner has to say.
8. To practice good listening skills by asking others if you have understood what they have said.
9. To be compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes and take accountability for your mistakes. Apologise sincerely.
10. To openly discuss with your partner about household roles and responsibilities and be open to doing tasks outside of your comfort zone.
11. To learn more about pornography and its effects on how you view sexual relationships.
12. To develop curiosity over your own sexuality outside of porn and reflect on how you can have a healthy and loving sex life.
13. To have conversations on what it means to have healthy human relationships within and outside your social circles.
14. To challenge both interpersonal relationships and systemic structures when they engage in unhealthy attitudes and behaviours towards others, including women, girls, non-binary and gender diverse people.
15. To seek out services and support when you suspect abusive is happening within or outside your social circles.
16. To publicly and socially advocate for equality and equity amongst different groups of people, including gender equality.
17. To be critical of the public messaging that corporations and businesses stand for, especially when they are promoting unhealthy views of others.
18. To support social justice movements, by joining rallies, writing letters to local, State and Federal MPs etc. in support of equality and equity for all people, including women, non-binary and gender diverse people.
19. To explore and follow healthy examples of masculinity and talk about the diversity within manhood with your fellow peers.
20. To be a healthy role-model for others on what it means to form and maintain healthy human relationships.

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